From a small child the Lord had left an imprint on my heart. I am so thankful for the consistent teaching of the Word of God in my life as a small child and the mighty prayers of my mother. Those words spoken over me, were seeds planted into my heart. I always craved the Lord in my life, his word, prayer, Women of God leading me in and out of different seasons of my life.
About 2 years ago I was invited to a group called Phemom. Funny name for a new moms group at church I wasn't really wanting to go, but I was at a place where I needed the Lord, more than Sunday in my life. The next year I would be dramatically transformed by these women pouring into my life in a way I can barely describe. The Lord breathed life into me. I was just living day in and day out on my own strength in all I knew how to do, constantly pouring out and nothing ever being poured into me worth substance. So when you are focused on your work, it consumes you, when you have a bad day, it cripples you, when crisis comes it breaks you. I needed Jesus in a way I never even understood before. And he rescued me. From a place I didn't even realize I was in, from a person I could barely recognize, He met me there.
That season was so sweet for me. This new season I feel as though God has showed me in my heart, what my purpose is and how important my time is. My sweet little business Stinkin Cute Designs, was God birthed into my heart, and grew beyond my wildest dreams, allowed me to have a life I honestly never dreamed of, to be home with my kids. Its has grown and grown and grown. But with the growth, it has become my focus, my passion, taking more than I want it to from my life. In most ways it became who I was. Slowly during these last few years, the Lords has gently showed me things that I need to let go of, so he can give me what is next. Which is one of the hardest things I have had to do. It seems it should so simple, but its the biggest reason why it needs to be out of my life really.
I am ended my season of sewing. Which is all I have known for the last 6 years. I don't even know what that will look like, but He is asking me to just be present in my childrens lives without all the distractions, stress and focus running a business can tend to do times TEN!
Trusting the Lord with everything is the easiest thing to say and yet the hardest thing in the world to do. But I am taking steps towards what he is calling me to do.
Those great stories are never great, in the middle. When things don't make sense, you don't know what is going to do. When you don't see how the sea could possibly part, but it does. When he provides Manna in the morning and he does. When people need healing and he heals. And when he moves mountains in your life.
When I read about the calling in people's lives to go to far off countries, build wells, feed the hungry, love the orphans and preach the good news its is so powerful. The calling he is calling me to is to be present, love my children with more than just words, take life and live it to the fullest and trust Him with all that I am. Its scary and exciting and is captivating that He loves me so much to soften my stubborn heart, to heal the wounds that I had no idea I had, to love me when I don't deserve it and to transform my life to a life I could have never imagined.
One step at a time. Trusting.
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